Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.
~ H. G. Wells
I was thinking of how tired I am of being indignant. Time to hang up the halo.
NauenThen
From the vault
October 24, 2019
Joe Carey sent me this. I'd entirely forgotten this poster—but not New York Is Missing, a six-page novel I wrote with Maggie Dubris. I remember Steve in a bald wig as Mayor Kroch. Tim Milk & Johnny Stanton were supposed to be dancing boys, but Johnny & I had a big fight right before & he didn't show up & Tim wouldn't wear the little short-shorts alone.
Whew!
October 23, 2019
I loved the holidays this year, the whole month of them seemed to be a rolling epic through stages of life & states of mind, from Rosh Hashanah, the birthday of the world, through the 10 days of self-reflection, to temporary outdoor life, to rejoicing in our Torah. I don't always relish them but this year I was able to relax into them & feel a part of it all. I got to hang out without deadlines, make goals for improvement, eat on the roof of the Y....
But I can't say I'm not glad they're over!
What bird is it?
October 20, 2019
Are you a sparrow, little one?
Sparrow
on a pipe outside
I give them
crumbs
to entice & cheer
until an adolescent rat
comes out of
my wall & eats
their food
the birds
forgive
me except when I
give them peanut butter cocoa puffs
Buster
October 17, 2019
Buster in his Halloween crab hat. Not liking it but OK with whatever silliness I force upon him. He is such an enlightened little being.
Also, I seem to have lost my mind. I now have tickets for three trips in the next 4 months, to St. Paul, Barcelona, & Edinburgh.
Promotion
October 16, 2019
My dojo is moving, after 43 years in the same location. There were a lot of people at the last-ever black belt promotion at West 23rd Street.
Poem
October 13, 2019
Vow in Old Age
I will never
I swear
talk about
my health problems. torture
me
I'll stay
mum
how boring & demoralizing
to hear from anyone
who isn't Susie Timmons
my cat doesn't complain
my husband doesn't complain
my neck wobbles—that's OK!
I can't stay awake
O Susie, tell me your troubles!
Yom Kippur
October 11, 2019
On Tuesday I got ready for Yom Kippur. On Tuesday night & all day Wednesday I atoned, prayed, ponderd, fasted. (Very meaningful! Best holiday in years!) On Thursday I caught up with as much of my work & to-do list as I could. Today looks to be about the same. The editing work I've been doing is so intensive that I don't have much brainwill left to talk about the holiday. Nothing out of th ordinary except to be immersed the whole 26 hours.
Here's Buster, relaxing atop me.
Monday Quote
October 7, 2019
Action and feeling go together…by regulating the action, which is under the more direct control of the will, we can indirectly regulate the feeling.
~ William James, Talks to Teachers on Psychology and to Students on Some of Life's Ideals
This is very Jewish, I think. Before receiving the 10 Commandments, the people said, We will obey & we will hear. I had an argument with a friend once. She said, I can't do anything I don't believe. I said, I can't believe anything I don't do.
Doing leads to belief & to feeling. If I act kindly towards you, I'll end up liking you.
Yom Kippur is a day away so of course I'm thinking about how to do better.
Buster
October 6, 2019
So happy! Buster has been taking thyroid meds & in 3 weeks he's easily gained a pound, I'd bet—a lot for a being that was down to 8.1 pounds. Now what he eats stays on him, rather than peeing it all out. His eyes were sunk in his head he was so dehydrated & he barely could get off the floor. Now his behavior is beginning to match his kitten face. He leaps & trots & meets me at the door. Also, he is so in love with us. I can barely get him off my lap. We haven't been back to the vet, not for another couple weeks, but it's so clear that the meds & subcutaneous fluids are doing him a world of good.
Poem
October 4, 2019
An Old Story
when I didn't give the young man money
he said is it because I'm black
& you a old white lady
& I said that's right fuck off
& when I told this guy I know
he told me a story about a beautiful girl
he once lived with who made the thugs
on 8th & B back off by screaming
you fucking pussies
her tininess making her curses louder
he found a story of his own to top, correct & instruct me
fuck off, you fucking pussy
Mansplaining!
October 2, 2019
Stealing this story but it's too good not to!
So my friend's 10-year-old kid just got her period, freaking out the dad no end. He was, she said, frantically googling and at one point said in front of my friend and her sister, "It could last SEVEN DAYS!"
Their conclusion: The most perfect example of mansplaining in the universe.