Elinor Nauen

This is a few dozen of my FCs—Favorite Cousins. Some are siblings, nieces or nephews, & many are removed or 2nd or 3rd cousins, but the best thing you can be in our family is a cousin. We all call each other FC & have physical reunions often. We had one this afternoon by Zoom, & I think I dislocated my jaw smiling. What a lovely, loving, positive bunch. I don't think any of them read my blog or know I write it, so this is just pouring all that beautiful energy & love into the ether. 

Man, I just love my cousins! I like them too. There were close to 50 of us—from NY, California, Seattle, Florida, & Minnesota—together in St Paul this weekend for my niece Rachel's wedding. How'd we get so lucky? No drunks, no pills, & we all have similar kind-hearted politics. One cousin-trait-in-common is that we all  Read More 

Our family isn't a matriarchy or (god forbid) a patriarchy: it's a cousin-archy, and the First Cousin was Sue—elegant Sue, with Elspeth's sweet-gravel voice, California by way of Wales—who loved us all so much and with such grace, beauty, wonder & interest. Now she moves from our outside life to inside (to quote Ted Berrigan), where we will always hold her close.

Margit wrote: "A tribe of cousins....a big tribe and we've lost the chief." She's so right. Our cousins are a tribe, a welcoming & inclusive club. This—Sue's death—is so wrong. No one wants to leave. No one is supposed to leave.  Read More 

It was really great to have Amy here this weekend on her first-ever visit to New York. One trait we cousins share is knowing exactly how everyone is related to everyone else. Amy, for example, is my second cousin once removed. On her dad's side she is related to William Jennings Bryan, who now becomes an ancestor of mine. That's how we roll—family is family.  Read More 

A birthday is just an excuse for a party in my fun-lovin' family. We are all FCs (Favorite Cousins) to each other & we know each other to a crazy extent: At the Joyce 90 celebration were a couple of 4th cousins.

AND I'm home in time for the biggest snowfall of the season. Yippie!

I love my cousins, and I love the idea of cousins: people you're closely related to but with enough of a distance to ensure politeness. Cousins have the resemblances and antecedents of siblings, without the in-fighting.I have five first cousins, but innumerable more at one, two or more removes. We all call each other FC ("favorite cousin"). Another pleasure is the many cross-generational friendships among my cousins. I have quite a few courtesy cousins, too, people who are family enough to merit that designation.

Today is my sister Varda's birthday. She would be my main FC if she were my cousin. And that's as good as I can do.  Read More